I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
