I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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