I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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