Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
