he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
