how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
