As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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