That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
