I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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