He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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