My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
