my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
