Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
