Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
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OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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