you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
