a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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