I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
