i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
