How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
4 words: hood of his car
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
