She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?