you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
