I am full of burrito and curiosity
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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