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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her

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• (646): View more from New York

  I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (323): View more from California

  well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So like, boobs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  are you really going to start every conversation like that?

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