do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.