I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
