he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
