he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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