lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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