it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
