Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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