I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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