Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
