nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
