where am i from again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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