i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
