Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize