3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
