WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
