we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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