So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
