I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize