Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
