you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
