Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry about my life...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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