A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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