did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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