In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
