I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
