Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
