Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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