It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
