In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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