Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
