Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
