I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
