cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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