Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
