then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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