This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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