It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
