drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
