This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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