Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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