Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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