yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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