sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
