I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
