if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
