how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
