they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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