Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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